Transcript
Lynnette: On The BiCast, we strive to be about, for and by our community. Recently, a great and simple question was posted to the BiNet USA group on FaceBook. Many of these comments are what we speak among ourselves daily.
John: The question to the group: “What is the one thing that you wish the greater population understood about bisexuals.. or any other group identity you associate with”:
Lynnette: Probably the fact that we are not gay. It is too often that we are erased into the gay label, or possibly the straight label if we are with an opposite sex partner.
John: Monogamy or non-monogamy is a choice and can be paired with the way you identify, not determined by it. And neither should be shamed.
Lynnette: just because I am bisexual does not mean I am a slut.
John: Just because you don’t quite get it, don’t say, “Who needs labels anyway?” I could have been spared years of confusion if the world didn’t seem so ‘gay or straight’.
Lynnette: My orientation is not determined by who I’m currently romantically involved with or having sex with!
John: We have issues not being addressed by Gay Inc. We need studies that properly break us out not lump up in with gays and lesbians so that support can help us directly. And that erasing us actually kills us.
Lynnette: Bisexual does not mean being half gay / half straight. I am 100% bisexual.
John: That I’m not the only one just because I am the only one out to them.
Lynnette: Just because I am a bisexual woman doesn’t mean I am not also committed to the lesbian segment of our community.
John: That being shoved back into the closet by the LG community is not “having straight privilege” and that you don’t have to break everything into rigid binaries where loving A means hating B.
Lynnette: I would like the majority of the population to understand that I am a slut, but being a slut has nothing to do with my bisexuality. And I would like the majority to realize that there is nothing wrong with being a slut, whatever that is.
John: I agree. TO be more clear, and not slut shame, I would like to change mine to state : Just because I am bisexual does not mean I will have sex with just anyone.
Lynnette: I would wish that the general population would understand that we are all, each of us, normal.
John: I don’t think I’m normal at all, but that has zero to do with my sexuality. I know I’m pretty weird.
Lynnette: In relation to myself, I am completely normal…
John: I wish they understood that bisexuality doesn’t mean sleeping with literally anyone or cheating on a significant other
Lynnette: Sometimes, it seems, I wish some folks would take the time to find out exactly what “bisexual” actually means. For example, its not always a 50/50 split of attraction at all times..etc ..etc. One would only have to make an intelligent google search to come up with the correct definition of bisexual but it seems they haven’t done this. It probably doesn’t help that they cant wrap their small minds around the correct definition once they find it.<groan>.
John: I’m so tired of people expecting us ALL to be 50/50. I’m romantically attracted to women more than I am to folks that aren’t women, but I am sexually attracted to people all over the gender map. I hang out with lesbians and gay guys more than I do straight people. I’ve never been 50/50. I’m probably a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale.
Lynnette: I lean a little straight..or a little gay. Im not way at either end of the spectrum. A romp with either sex usually sounds good to me.
John: Oh I know. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like having to explain my sexuality to people. Most people just don’t get “queer-identified bisexual lesbian”.
Lynnette: lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, are words used to describe variations of the same attribute. that is all. really. we debate things because we get derailed. Are we forced to choose. do we want to choose, what happens to us personally if we let others default us into a category that reflects their biases. what personal description more accurately defines me. BAH these words Bisexual, Lesbian Gay, Straight define variations of the same attribute on equal terms and should be regarded as such.
John: So much more of what attracts you to another person is what’s In their heart and between the ears, NOT strictly what’s between the legs! Most of us here get it.
Lynnette: I’m not gay. And I’m not straight, either.
John: That bisexuals don’t sleep with every person that moves. Bisexuals can definitely be faithful people, just people from the other sexualities.
Lynnette: That members of our community can label themselves as something other than “bisexual” and still be active in our bisexual community.